I made some cupcakes with my soulmate today. And I was pretty boring and used a boxed cake recipe and frosting from a jar. Jesus that frosting was disgusting by itself. And I read the ingredients... My goodness... And then I tasted the frosting by itself because it's my favorite--cream cheese. And it left this horrible metallic aftertaste in my mouth. I blame you Betty Crocker. Next time I will make my own damn frosting. None of this lazy bull shit. And it will taste fucking amazing.
So now of course these cupcakes will go to my French class tomorrow. I'm not sure if there will be enough but first come first serve. I don't give a shit. Though I don't really care about my French classmates. I'm only friends with one or two of them. I could give them to my mythology mates... But there's this one chick that's a superbitch to everyone in the class. And she's super fat. I'm not really sure how those two are related. But she would love my cupcakes. She eats everything that comes to class. Not surprisingly, it disgusts me. If she was nice, it would disgust me less. It's really too bad. So French it is. Because of that one chick. And I have better friends in mythology... I guess it's just too bad for them.
Also I'm not looking forward to going to Sociology tomorrow evening. This chick last time was bitching a lot about how the teacher "threatened" to give her a worse grade on her test and suggested that if she wanted to do that then she should go to his office hours. And then he left because we had a break and she's all blah blah blah about how she's tried to email him and he never replies and go to see him during office hours but he's never there and how she's going to write to the dean about him. And honestly, this teacher is really good and she shouldn't be complaining. It's not that hard to get an A in this class. But she was making me really anxious how much she was going off on the guy. And I'm fucking tired of feeling anxious like that.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
twenty-four
Even though I knew I was at the right place at the right time for two and a half hours, it turned out I didn't need to be there. And there ended up being this weird level of embarrassment that made me feel sick. And then I was just frustrated for being somewhere for too long when I could have been home doing something useful like homework. So of course I got home an hour ago and I still haven't done any more homework.
Monday, May 7, 2012
twenty-three
In under a week I've had three horrible dreams. In the first I got lost and then was raped. And that sounds bad but there wasn't really anything scary other than I woke up breathing really hard. I'm just glad my boyfriend was next to me when I woke up. He held me tight when I asked him. I was only able to sleep after ten minutes of him calming me down. But it was comical the next day. I remember the rapist talking to himself and he said something about downward dog. Which would be really hard for anyone to be in that position having sex.
The second dream there was an apocalypse. Not officially but there was a thing with gum and it was like a magnet for people. And people got sick off it. And then I felt like I was the only person alive.
The last one I was driving down this street. And then my boyfriend and I saw ducklings. So we stopped. And I was trying to put them in my trunk. In my "dream" car. A hatchback. And they kept jumping out. And then this guy was there trying to steal my car.
The weird thing is that I can explain the apocalypse one because I've been thinking about how zombies are scary and that is how the world would end. And how I wouldn't make it.
I'm just tired of the bad dreams. They can stop now. Thanks.
The second dream there was an apocalypse. Not officially but there was a thing with gum and it was like a magnet for people. And people got sick off it. And then I felt like I was the only person alive.
The last one I was driving down this street. And then my boyfriend and I saw ducklings. So we stopped. And I was trying to put them in my trunk. In my "dream" car. A hatchback. And they kept jumping out. And then this guy was there trying to steal my car.
The weird thing is that I can explain the apocalypse one because I've been thinking about how zombies are scary and that is how the world would end. And how I wouldn't make it.
I'm just tired of the bad dreams. They can stop now. Thanks.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
twenty-two
Last semester there was a foreign exchange student in my chemistry class from Vietnam. And knowing that Vietnam was once a French colony I was excited to maybe speak French with someone who could actually speak French. So I asked him if he could and he looked at me funny. And I said well it's a legitimate question seeing how France once had control over Vietnam and I guess he had never heard of this. So today in my French class I felt bad for assuming he knew French because there was this war of independence from the French. And Vietnamese nationalists I guess went into houses and yelled "Feu!" and if people jumped up scared then they were killed. Why wasn't I taught this in high school?
twenty-one
Right now I'm having a really hard time deciding what to do. I go to community college and I've already thrown out two majors. The first was engineering because I really want to work with water. It's so interesting to me to see the cleaning processes as well as retrieval of water in California. (If you didn't know, socal isn't supposed to have so many people and they pay lots of money to ship their water in from norcal.) This idea of water made me want to go into alternative ways to get water. And I suppose I could still follow this path because water will be scarce in the future with aquifers being depleted along with the increase of population. Anyways so my first college math course of Calculus was no good. Since I had taken Pre-calculus in high school I assumed I would be prepared. No. Once my teacher started talking about limits I already had no idea what I was doing. So I got a "W" (for withdraw) and then I took Pre-calculus over the summer. Still no mention of limits. And then my boyfriend is taking the class this semester and they introduce limits there. Seriously?
My second plan was Marine Biology. It would be a great end goal of studying squid or sea anemones. And so first to ruin the plan was my cousin who also wanted to do that which is annoying because his parents rub it in my dad's face, and mine too, that their kids are so much better than my dad's. So no matter what if we did the same thing, my cousin would just be better. But whatever right? People change their majors all the time. And since he was only becoming a senior in high school, what did he know? So I'll stick with my thing and hope he changes to something else. So then I learned I needed Calculus. And by this time, a year later, I knew people I could talk to. I told myself I would actually do the homework that was assigned. I would learn it damn it. So of course one week prior to the start of spring semester, I chickened out. Or maybe it was just that the next three semesters looked bleak. And seriously... Who wants to go to school every day for a year and a half plus not liking a single one of your classes? I mean you would think that I would like biology if I was going to major in it. But I don't.
So I stopped that plan as well. So I dropped all those classes I hadn't even started and instead took things I wanted. So of course this semester I actually enjoy going to school. (Or at least I would if I liked one of my professors... stupid mythology...) So I'm taking three fun classes and one designed to get me to exercise. I love my French class. The second class I enjoy is sociology. It is a really depressing course but I've found all the concepts really interesting. The last class I thought would be fun and I only now know that it's not: mythology. Now I know that I only enjoy classical mythology, at least The Odyssey and the nicer stories you hear from the ancient Greeks. For example, we read the story of Demeter and Persephone where Persephone gets taken to the underworld by Hades and it results in the seasons. But my class had to ruin the story saying that it's a story about rape. Please stop. And I guess solely because it's a college course, we have to read texts by actual people. So it ruined the Norse myths too. Also it's a bad teacher. The point is, now I know not to take mythology.
Well the real point is that now I have no major really. I keep thinking that I should continue to do marine bio but now it feels too late. But I also keep coming back to language. Fall semester I'll take French and German and I'm really excited about those. I also want to take psychology again (first time was in high school when I didn't give a shit). Maybe I can skip the intro class and do something more interesting. Because there was a lot I didn't find interesting. And I want to take the next sociology class. So that's the plan. I don't really know what my options are but taking the classes I actually like feels like the next step.
In sociology we talked about female circumcision. I've known what it is for a while now but it seriously needs a new name. Or maybe the United States is still too sexist to give a horrible name to a horrible thing.
My second plan was Marine Biology. It would be a great end goal of studying squid or sea anemones. And so first to ruin the plan was my cousin who also wanted to do that which is annoying because his parents rub it in my dad's face, and mine too, that their kids are so much better than my dad's. So no matter what if we did the same thing, my cousin would just be better. But whatever right? People change their majors all the time. And since he was only becoming a senior in high school, what did he know? So I'll stick with my thing and hope he changes to something else. So then I learned I needed Calculus. And by this time, a year later, I knew people I could talk to. I told myself I would actually do the homework that was assigned. I would learn it damn it. So of course one week prior to the start of spring semester, I chickened out. Or maybe it was just that the next three semesters looked bleak. And seriously... Who wants to go to school every day for a year and a half plus not liking a single one of your classes? I mean you would think that I would like biology if I was going to major in it. But I don't.
So I stopped that plan as well. So I dropped all those classes I hadn't even started and instead took things I wanted. So of course this semester I actually enjoy going to school. (Or at least I would if I liked one of my professors... stupid mythology...) So I'm taking three fun classes and one designed to get me to exercise. I love my French class. The second class I enjoy is sociology. It is a really depressing course but I've found all the concepts really interesting. The last class I thought would be fun and I only now know that it's not: mythology. Now I know that I only enjoy classical mythology, at least The Odyssey and the nicer stories you hear from the ancient Greeks. For example, we read the story of Demeter and Persephone where Persephone gets taken to the underworld by Hades and it results in the seasons. But my class had to ruin the story saying that it's a story about rape. Please stop. And I guess solely because it's a college course, we have to read texts by actual people. So it ruined the Norse myths too. Also it's a bad teacher. The point is, now I know not to take mythology.
Well the real point is that now I have no major really. I keep thinking that I should continue to do marine bio but now it feels too late. But I also keep coming back to language. Fall semester I'll take French and German and I'm really excited about those. I also want to take psychology again (first time was in high school when I didn't give a shit). Maybe I can skip the intro class and do something more interesting. Because there was a lot I didn't find interesting. And I want to take the next sociology class. So that's the plan. I don't really know what my options are but taking the classes I actually like feels like the next step.
In sociology we talked about female circumcision. I've known what it is for a while now but it seriously needs a new name. Or maybe the United States is still too sexist to give a horrible name to a horrible thing.
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