Thirty-one

Today I would just like to say a few random things. (Because I should actually be studying.)

At my commuter school, I'm actually making friends. One girl in my French class I enjoy very much. I hope we can still be friends after this semester is over. Also I've joined a Sociology club since I'm thinking I might major in that.... but my Urban Communities class is making me seriously want to steer clear. Damn. But French is still in the horizon.

I had a thought that it's really stupid to make any language a major. Just because some Europeans know several languages, why am I making it my goal to only learn two. It just feels so American. But then on the other hand English (literature) is a major just because there is so much about it to discuss. And I know part of French is reading as well. Since I love to read, maybe my major will change to French literature. There's so many options.

Sociology club is awesome.

When fat people walk into a restaurant in front of me, I no longer want to go in. Today that was Panda Express. One of the women was wearing yoga pants. I wonder if she knows they are for exercising.

I don't have a favorite band. My answer to which one is your favorite is too long and complicated plus no one cares. Today I have a Weezer shirt on and yes they are a good band and have lots of really good songs but no. I guess they would be my favorite since I like most of their songs. For example I love Tim McGraw but I only like less than ten of his songs and I don't even like the last two singles. (Felt Good On My Lips and Better Than I Used To Be) I guess I'm behind on his music... Truck Yeah is the most recent that I haven't even heard which of course I also don't really like. I would do much better with what's your favorite genre? And I'd say alternative. Because of this I'm not one of Apple's best customers through Itunes because for sure I don't consume their other products at least rapidly. I've had two iPods or three since one of them broke but it got replaced for free since it was under warantee. I had the first for two years and the next one for less than six months when it decided to not work correctly and then this one for about three and a half. The point is that I like to save my money and my older larger crappy iPod still works fine. I've never even needed the battery changed. And it's eighty gigs so I don't need any more space anyways. I don't even have it half filled up. I also like Katy Perry, Ke-ha (aka Ke$ha by everyone else), Snow Patrol, Lifehouse, Blink-182, Heart, The xx, Shania Twain, Britney Spears, Sage Francis, Arctic Monkeys, Gary Allan, Black Eyed Peas, Kings of Leon, Incubus... etc. But I can never say that I like every single song of any of these people.

And then of course looking at the songs I do have on my Itunes it's pretty embarrassing. I  actually have eleven Nickelback songs. I have memories of Animal which makes that a nice song to hear and How You Remind Me is actually a good song, but the rest just make me laugh at what I used to be. It reminds me of a picture I saw on the internet of a girl with a tattoo that said Nickelback. I just think it's clear that she just wants to sleep with one of the band members. I've heard that there's a website that girls post how many famous band members they've slept with. Anyone with more than one who isn't famous, you're a slut.

My arm has been hurting for six days now. I punched the air so that's why I'm in pain. I have to take around three ibuprofen a day. I'm due for another one.

We are getting a puppy! Her name is Cheyanne? I'm not sure how we will spell it yet. But I didn't find out that was her name until yesterday. It's been bothering me all day since one person made the decision. We don't even have her yet. And I know I made my input known. I thought Cirrus would be an awesome name. She's an English Cream Golden Retriever, so being named after a white fluffy cloud would be perfect. And apparently my opinion doesn't matter. Yesterday my boyfriend suggested Dagny to my grandma after Dagny Taggart from Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. Anyways she told us that she's already been named Cheyanne. The city is spelled Cheyenne I guess but my grandma wants to nickname her Annie. Ok then. And when I looked upset that they already named her, she said since it's a dog I can call her whatever I want and she will respond anyways. That would confuse her. Cheyenne is a cute name, I just wish my opinion was considered and that this was a vote. I remember being twelve and thinking my brother's name is stupid, Reno. And I still do, but I can't change a family name. And it turns out they spelled it wrong.

There's actually a French test tomorrow and I have to study for it because pronouns are too confusing especially mixed with negaives and past tense etc. Also I need to do some laundry. And I have plans for finishing my sock!!! If not tonight I will finish it this weekend and I'm so excited to finally be able to wear them since it will be cold soon. Please weather, stop being eighty degrees.

Thirty

Today did not feel like any kind of stressful day. My boss didn't tell me that she needed me to work. She hasn't talked to me about tomorrow. Whatever. I'm not working tomorrow for her anyways which I told her last week... but then she never told me that she received that. (Fuck me right?) Anyways recently I broke a knitting needle. And luckily that's no big deal since there's an extra in the package. And then I finally started knitting again on Monday after a month without and it turns out I broke another. So today was awesome because after a really long day at school I accomplished something by first standing around in the stupid craft store for twenty minutes not finding what's supposed to be right in front of me (which ended up being right in front of me) and then dealing with the checkout line that's always extremely long. (Why is that?) And then I knitted. So that should have been my moment of relaxation. Then I realized I was tense so luckily my boyfriend was there being awesome and giving me the best massage since for once I was actually sore so many places from my killer cardio kickboxing workout yesterday. I hate the class but I LOVE saying that I did some actual exercise. And then we ended up going to dinner with his parents. And so there I am sitting there laughing at his dad for "dieting" by "not eating carbs" which translates to no bread, pasta, or cereal. Which in fact he has actually stuck to not eating any of those things. He still eats pizza (even the crust which he saves to dip in hummus), tortilla chips, rice, potatoes, etc. So there we are at dinner and he needed to order an appetizer which ends up being fried zucchini. HA! His wife eats one and he eats eleven. And then he eats every single bit of his steak dinner emptying his plate including the sides. Who does that? Also no wonder he hasn't lost any weight... How has he not gained any more since I've met him either?!? And then there's me and my boyfriend sharing a salad. And just because it sounded good I got the baked sweet potato. And I hope to never get that again. As a side note: going to Black Angus makes me feel so cheap. It's a steak house, but it's never worth whatever it is for a dinner... Forty bucks? I don't even know since that is not my first choice for dinner since I've almost taken beef out of my diet. Oh... well actually today we went to Burger King and I got a cheeseburger... but is that even real beef? I don't think so. Generally it's been making me feel sick. I can't have even three bites of a steak or a homemade burger but I can have a sandwich with roast beef... Back to what I was talking about... After dinner my boyfriend's mom and I went to Starbucks to knit. And it was just a nice night where I didn't need my sweatshirt until 8:00 and we were just talking about things... everything really. I told her about how I'm not even sure if I want to do French or Sociology as a major and that since she and my grandma both think I should at least check out Psychology that maybe I should do that. Especially since I think about it all the time. And I think I'm pretty good at analyzing people which I do naturally. Maybe because of my dad or because of my mom. The point is that it struck me as so frustrating just because I've already spent two years at this community college and I'm really worrying that this might actually be the direction I want to head in and I want to get the hell out of here and transfer for next fall.

I just finished a book that's really popular now The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and I felt like everything I read would be helpful for someone Then she's really tired so we get in the car and drive back to her house where my car is. And then we're sitting in the car at her house and I just can't help myself and launch into this really fast conversation about how I'm trying to be a happier person slowly through this book and how I feel like I don't talk about certain people at all and I'm really proud of that. I feel like I'll never want to stop talking shit about certain people that I see all the time like her husband and how he does stupid things. But I never talk about my friend, X, who even though she drives me crazy, I can't actually say anything bad about her. I can always say that it drives me crazy that X is so indecisive but then again I'm bossy and controlling so maybe it actually is a good thing because then I get to choose what I want. But then maybe since X has known me for so long that X knows that I'm bossy and controlling so she wants to make me happy and just lets me choose anyways. And maybe that drives X crazy. And then this led into how my boyfriend's mom is indecisive and how I never know if she actually likes things or says she likes them A/ to get me to eat them or B/ because she thinks that I will be happy if she says she likes them. Which of course I know that both of these things drive me crazy. But it was so nice to just have this conversation that when I left it I felt like this huge weight was lifted off me. I felt so light that when I got home I decided to tidy for ten minutes like my grandma always has told me.

I have a new job that I do on Mondays and Fridays that is exactly the same thing I've been doing so that's nice. And the girl is super nice and easy to deal with like a normal ten year old.

It's my bedtime in three minutes. 10:30. Fuck 8:00 classes.

There's so much from that book by Gretchen Rubin that I want to talk about. My own mini happiness project. I've already started but I want to record things.

Twenty-nine

Brett Olson memorial tonight was really nice. Everything his dad said made me wish I knew him better.

My favorite memory of him was in a rally when he and four other guys lip synced to the Backstreet Boys. He was exactly the great, happy, smiling, funny guy that everyone says.

RIP

twenty-eight

People and I went to have fun on Sunday so me and the boyfriend got sunburnt. En francais (not sure how to make cedille) : J'ai brule (another accent problem). And it looks funny on my chest because I had a collar.

Today I found out about this thing called a transfer agreement. And it's due in September. But apparently the schools stop accepting them after a while so as soon as you can get it in the better your chances. And I have to meet with a stupid counselor. And I won't be able to get an appointment until the earliest of the 12th.

Also I think I might have allergies. But I wake up with a sore throat. And it sucks because I'm sneezing all the time and my left nose runs. (Nostril is a shitty word.)

I need to learn numbers in Italian.

Now I need to sleep.

twenty-seven

So I'm busy and tired and this made me laugh because it's just so true.

And I would also like to say that shutupimtalking.com is hilarious.

twenty-six

I made some more cupcakes with my soulmate today. And we went to IKEA. And we went to Beverly's. It was a very nice day until I started talking about my boyfriend problems. We all have them so no big deal. I'm just frustrated with myself. You don't know it's love until you have it. And now I feel like I've lost a little bit of it so I don't even have it anymore. I'm not sure if I feel better after my talk today with my soulmate about it. When he was gone I missed him. But not that much. And now he's back and I feel different.

I watched the last four episodes of Sex and the City tonight. It did make me feel a little bit better. And it made my night go really well. And then he got home and I feel all sick again. I hope this is just a weird time. I want it to go back to what it was.

And I want my fucking headache to go away too.

twenty-five

I made some cupcakes with my soulmate today. And I was pretty boring and used a boxed cake recipe and frosting from a jar. Jesus that frosting was disgusting by itself. And I read the ingredients... My goodness... And then I tasted the frosting by itself because it's my favorite--cream cheese. And it left this horrible metallic aftertaste in my mouth. I blame you Betty Crocker. Next time I will make my own damn frosting. None of this lazy bull shit. And it will taste fucking amazing.

So now of course these cupcakes will go to my French class tomorrow. I'm not sure if there will be enough but first come first serve. I don't give a shit. Though I don't really care about my French classmates. I'm only friends with one or two of them. I could give them to my mythology mates... But there's this one chick that's a superbitch to everyone in the class. And she's super fat. I'm not really sure how those two are related. But she would love my cupcakes. She eats everything that comes to class. Not surprisingly, it disgusts me. If she was nice, it would disgust me less. It's really too bad. So French it is. Because of that one chick. And I have better friends in mythology... I guess it's just too bad for them.

Also I'm not looking forward to going to Sociology tomorrow evening. This chick last time was bitching a lot about how the teacher "threatened" to give her a worse grade on her test and suggested that if she wanted to do that then she should go to his office hours. And then he left because we had a break and she's all blah blah blah about how she's tried to email him  and he never replies and go to see him during office hours but he's never there and how she's going to write to the dean about him. And honestly, this teacher is really good and she shouldn't be complaining. It's not that hard to get an A in this class. But she was making me really anxious how much she was going off on the guy. And I'm fucking tired of feeling anxious like that.