Eighteen

I'm so frustrated right now with the world. More specifically my boyfriend's dad. The ruiner of good things. I could just scream. Except if you see me I'm so calm. What is going on. So the screaming... My boyfriend has a brother. Who went to Hawaii with his mom and dad. They were there for his spring break and it was really nice. Blah blah blah. They come back. His mom and I are knitting and she tells me about this dress she tried on while they were there. One of those wear it a million ways. And she's telling me all the reasons she didn't buy it. It's silk so it could get runs in it super easy. And it shows her ankles and she doesn't like her ankles. Plus she would never wear it. So then she's bringing out gifts for me and my boyfriend and she's all excited to give me stuff. And she gets to the bottom of this big bag of things and is all Mr. Last Name! Did you get this for me?! Oh my god did you get this for me? No response. Brother? Oh my gosh. Brother! Etc etc... And this lasts for half an hour of her freaking out and the brother is trying to console her. And the dad is being all calm. Mom is telling Brother that he shouldn't have spent so much money. 150$. Whoa there Bessie. Honestly he's in the Air Force Academy. Graduating this year. They pay him to go there. And this kid doesn't spend his money on anything. Only this year he spent some because he finally was able to drive off campus with a car. Anyways. He has lots of money. And I think it's soooo sweet that he bought something nice for his mom who clearly wanted the damn dress. So it's nice.

Later she and I are just knitting some more. And I hear Mr. Last Name saying that's way too much money. You should jot be spending that much money blah blah blah. And Brother says well I have five thousand dollars in my account and it just sits there. Etc. Then Mr. Last Name starts on son #2, my boyfriend, and says your brother sandbagged your mom twice this year. You need to catch up.

And I just want to scream ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?! Seriously... This was so nice that Brother did something so sweet for his mom. Now my boyfriend doesn't have a job. Plays video games all the time. Goes to community college. Doesn't get paid for that. Doesn't have a job. (Right now I don't care that he doesn't have a job. He just needs to get good grades so we can go away to a four year college. I just want him to get accepted dammit!) And he's finally getting halfway decent grades. Considering he tried to fail high school... Both boys are in completely different places. Two years apart in school. Different levels of maturity. Different goals in life. Different lives growing up. The older listens to the dad and does things the dad wants. And the younger one, the one that's mine, does everything on his own. He doesn't listen to anyone. Barely even me. The two are different Fucking people.

I just know that when I'm a parent I want my kids to be recognized as different people. And I want to raise them as such.

Also I would like to commend my boyfriend for not taking this bullshit. Too much pressure.